Humour In Yorkshire is No Laughing Matter

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Yorkshire Humour by Ian McMillan (Author), Tony Husband (Illustrator).

Example of the Humour
‘Now Willie you mustn’t be selfish you should let your brother have the sledge half the time’.
‘I do Mum, I have it coming down and he has it going up’.
I dare say Willies brother can have the sledge all through summer as well. This is the sort of humour in the new book which highlights the dry side of Yorkshire folk.

Tony Husband has a string of joke books to his credit but is better known as a gifted cartoonist. In Private Eye his ‘Yobs and Yobettes’ strip satirises Chav culture with a sledge hammer. Ian McMillan is a poet with a string of job titles including Yorkshire Planetarium’s Poet in Space, Poet in residence Barnsley FC and Bard of Barnsley. For the 12 Yorkshire days of Christmas he gave us this :
On the first day of Yorkshire Christmas my true love gave to me
A tinsel muffler to put round me tree
On the second
2 racing pigeons
3 nippy whippets
4 flat caps
5 Dickie Birds
6 Grandmas grumbling
7 Grandads snoring
8 Banghra Dancers
9 parkin makers
10 Bowls full of Yorkshire pudding batter
11. Football teams struggling in the lower divisions
12 Michael Parkinson Blow Up Dolls

The book is well worth a read, have you heard the one about the old men of a Dales village chatting over the death of an old friend. Along comes a newcomer to express his sorrow at the passing of the man.
“It is sad when an old native of the village dies,” says the new resident. “Nay lad, he wasn’t a native, ‘e was a come-er-in-a,” says one of the old men. “’E only lived here 70 year.”

More humourous slogans

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The Yorkshire Pudding Club

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The time was when if someone said they were in t’club it was not unusual to ask ‘Christmas, Pudding or Workingmen’s?’ Who would have answered the Book Club but that would be more appropriate for Milly Johnsons ‘literary’ offering.  From what I know I doubt Milly would want to be termed a Chick for her lit or other reasons, nor may she want to be a Lass but that will have to do.


You can’t have too many Yorkshire Puddings

From the Inside Flap of The Yorkshire Pudding Club
‘Three South Yorkshire friends, all on the cusp of 40, fall pregnant at the same time following a visit to an ancient fertility symbol.
For Helen, it’s a dream come true, although her husband is not as thrilled about it as she had hoped. Not only wrestling with painful ghosts of the past, Helen has to deal with the fact that her outwardly perfect marriage is crumbling before her eyes.
For Janey, it is an unmitigated disaster as she has just been offered the career break of a life-time. And she has no idea either how it could possibly have happened, seeing as she and her ecstatic husband George were always so careful over contraception.
For Elizabeth, it is mind-numbing, because she knows people like her shouldn’t have children. Damaged by her dysfunctional childhood and emotionally lost, she not only has to contend with carrying a child she doubts she can ever love, but she also has to deal with the return to her life of a man whose love she must deny herself.
Heart-warming, up-lifting, tear-jerking and lovely, The Yorkshire Pudding Club is the story of how three women find themselves empowered by unexpected pregnancy. How it revitalises one woman’s tired marriage, strengthens another’s belief in herself and brings love and warmth to a cold and empty life.’

Milly Johnson is a half Barnsley, half Glaswegian writer of greetings cards, novels and shopping lists featuring gin and buns. A self confessed ‘ disciple of the clutter-clearing experience she says ‘It’s magical, energizing and you really do feel lifted and light after shifting rubbish from your house.’ Mmm I am clearing out a lot of books but I don’t have any ‘Chick Lit’ and dare not ditch my wife’s copy of The Yorkshire Pudding Club.

Follow up books  by Milly include  ‘A Summer Fling’, Afternoon Tea at the Sunflower Café and Ladies that Launch and features some of the same characters.

Book Cover

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Waterfalls in God’s Own County

‘It never rains but it pours.’ In Yorkshire we get the odd drop of rain and to prove my point here are photos of some of our God’s Own County’s waterfalls.

Hardraw 001

A mile and a half from Hawes is the estate that houses Hardraw Force a thirty foot drop waterfall. Access is on to private land and is controlled by access through the Green Dragon pub. The old fashioned pub is great with a log fire in the middle of August and some good beer on sale.

 

This location is well known as a site for Brass Band competitions. There is a natural amphitheater and an open roofed, dry stone walled band stand. The seating was piled up in a heap and more attention was paid to the rental of accommodation which serves as a resting place on the Pennine Way which passes through the village of Hardraw.

Hardraw 009

The cost £2.50 to see the Force was not high but neither was the experience. The best paths were closed on health and safety grounds and I was under-impressed with the hard nosed attitude of the matron in charge!

 

Janet's Foss, Malham, Yorkshire
Janet’s Foss, Malham, Yorkshire by Simon Starr

Ingleton 022
Ingleton is famous for the run of waterfalls

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Below is Force Gill Waterfall 290405 by Yorkshiresoul cc SA 2.0
Force Gill Waterfall 290405

Complete Guide to Top 30 Waterfalls in the Yorkshire Dales – on the Walking Englishman

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Yorkshire Independence Party

Today the party for an Independent Yorkshire State (PIYS) made a bold claim to stake complete independence from the UK. The Yorkshire Independence Party has vowed to stand up for the principles of honesty, truthfulness, hard graft and respect for the all the people who have made Yorkshire their home. Beware the Yorkshire Republic opposition.

yorkshire

As the Yorkshire White Rose flag was hung over Humberside County Council – reclaiming the East Riding for the Republic of Greater Yorkshire, there was great rejoicing and the people of Yorkshire were ‘reet made up.

The new Yorkshire Parliament has already promised:

  • Bring back old fashioned weights and measures – including – lbs, stones, inches, furlongs, chains and thr’penny bits.
  • Offer free Yorkshire puddings to old age pensioners
  • Remove VAT for flat caps
  • Impose tariff barriers on Southern beer and Lancashire Hot Pot.
  • Campaign for whippet racing and Coal carrying to becoming Olympic sports
  • Make Yorkshire dialect compulsory learning in schools.
  • More controversially have been the plans to build a customs barrier stretching across the Pennines between the Yorkshire and Lancashire border. The Lancastrian independence movement has responded coldly to today’s developments. There was widespread dismay that yet again Yorkshire had beaten Lancashire.
  • It’s our coal! – too long have southerners enjoyed high living standards on the back of Yorkshire toil and the Yorkshire black gold dust from pits in Featherstone and Doncaster. Yorkshire Independence will mean we can reap the financial windfall of our own coal.
  • Geoffrey Boycott speaking as the New President of the Republic of Yorkshire said.

“Ey by eck, It’s a grand day to finally have our independence from the rest of those southerners. Long live Yorkshire!”

But, should Yorkshire be allowed to keep the Pound Sterling?

The Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Governor of the Bank of England have both warned of the dangers of a single currency with a region more at home trading cloth caps and ferrets.

Grumbleside to declare Independence from Yorkshire!

Breaking news!

June 2016 – The tiny local council of Grumbleside on the edge of the North York Moors has voted to declare it’s independence from Yorkshire.

“We can’t be doing with all these people from south of Yorkshire coming here and taking our jobs, driving down the price of ferrets and being ruled by those unelected, unaccountable commissionaires in Harrogate. We need to regain our freedom to have bendy village poles and drink full pint measures of ale!”

Grumblexit is likely to trigger more independence claims with the great city of Leeds saying they are better off going it alone, not shackled to the fortunes of all the foreigners on the other side of the Leeds-Liverpool canal.
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Garden to Visit in Yorkshire

Alpine House Harlow Carr

Harlow Carr the formern Northern Horticulture HQ and now owned and managed by the RHS has a varied display of Alpine plants in the well designed alpine house shown above.

Within 10 miles of Harrogate there are several stunning  gardens and historic houses to visit. Newby Hall and Ripley Castle are covered in some detail on the Yorkshire Gardens page of  Gardenerstips alongside some valuable comments about the Royal Horticultural Gardens at Harlow Carr above.

What is unaccountably missing is any reference to Harewood House .

Since the mid 18th century the gardens around the great house have been enhanced by a series of garden designers starting with Capability Brown. The Walled Garden was built in stages from 1755-1780 followed by the Rock garden created to prevent a lake flooding. The Woodland Walk the Parterre and the Archery border provide enough interest to fill the best part of a day and there is still the house to visit.

Make a point of visiting these great Yorkshire gardens and houses this summer starting at Newby Hall in Spring, Harewood in summer and the the others to suit. All of them make a good half day or full day trip or you could arrange to visit all four during a planned holiday.

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Historic Battles on Yorkshire Battlegrounds

Monument to Battle of Stamford Bridge

Stamford Bridge September 1066

King Harald’s army had just suffered heavy losses at Gate Fulford but were reinforced by Tostig’s troops and the Norwegian army were in celebratory mood. With fast marching and impulsive action King Harold marched part of his army from Tadcaster to Stamford bridge and caught his foes unprepared.
The memorial in the village reads ‘The Battle of Stamford Bridge – King Harold of England defeated his brother Tostig and King (Harald Sigurdsson) Hardraada of Norway here on 25th September 1066′.

The road from York through domesday village Gate Helmsley towards Stamford Bridge is the Roman road the English army marched down to the battlefield.
The village of Stamford bridge has been created since the battle and is now a tourist spot. The Swordsman inn celebrates an incident in the battle when one Viking is thought to have held the bridge over the river Derwent.


Battle of the Standard Northallerton August 1138
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Yorkshire Female Detective Series A6

There are now 5 books in the series featuring West Yorkshire Detective Karen Sharpe. All are available on kindle and most on the old fashioned media.

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Falling by John Connor

 

The literary review said of Falling ‘The writing is skilled and the West Yorkshire background described with authority in a plot based on racial tensions and their explosive repercussions… not a comfortable reading but a gripping one’.
Other reviewers have been impressed with the characters, attention to detail and the obvious knowledge of the law.
A almost plausible story line in The Playroom features the daughter of a Bradford judge who is kidnapped

John Connor is the author of the Detective Constable Karen Sharpe series. He recently left his job as a barrister to write full time so he should know about the law. During the fifteen years of his legal career he prosecuted numerous homicide cases in West Yorkshire and we seem to have more than our fair share thanks to the Yorkshire Ripper and the Sheffield murderers to name just a few.

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Tea Rooms in Yorkshire Gardens

Eucryphia growing above a hedge at Parcevall Hall North Yorkshire. The grounds contain several acid loving plants and the under planting included several Hydrangeas. Whilst the gardens are nearly 1000 feet above sea level the shelter of the dales hills and damp conditions suit the Eucryphia down to the ground (Oops)

Parcevall Hall gardens lie on a steep hillside with steps and uneven paths throughout. The topography and aspect add to the beauty of the gardens. ‘Within the grounds, visitors will find many facets of the garden, including, woodland walks, formal, south facing terraces, a bedrock limestone rock garden and a beautiful rose garden where it is a pleasure to sit and relax. All set against the stunning back-drop of the Yorkshire Dales.’ Parcevall Hall Tea Rooms

Newby Hall & Garden

Newby Hall and Garden is well known in the gardening fraternity as an impressive example of well designed and extensive range of garden features, expertly decorated with a diverse range of plants. The truly magnificent herbaceous borders are the central feature of the gardens but are by no means the only feature of quality. Garden rooms and themed planting provide a range of style’s that can easily be incorporated into most gardens large or small. Of particular value is the work on plant conservation and Newby boasts the best collection of the genus Cornus in the Country.” I would also add the acid lovers Azaleas, Camellias, Rhododendrons and Magnolias so recommend visiting in April or May.

Enjoyable cafe looking towards the river but can be busy at weekends.

Burnby Hall Garden

Burnby Hall Pocklington

Two magnificent lakes hold a national collection of Water Lilies. Watch the numerous fish, walk through the Secret garden and rockeries or follow the woodland walk. Open march- 9th October 2011.
OK for a bun fight and coffee.

York Gate Garden

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Public Parks Past & Present

 

History of Public Parks & Gardens

The West Riding was at the forefront of 19th Century Park development. Growing towns no longer had access to common land and the working class needed a recreational outlet. Pleasure resorts were developed in Harrogate, Ilkley and down south in Bath but it was in Bradford where early Park development really took hold.  During a temporary work shortage in the wool trade the Woolsorters set too to create a Park based on subscription for relaxation. They even received a £100 subscription from Queen Victoria towards the cost. In 1850 Peel Park was opened as the 20th park in England followed by Leeds Woodhouse Moor in 1857 and Bingley Prince of Wales Park in 1865.

Samuel Cunliffe Lister the owner of the biggest silk mill in the world known as Manningham Mill gave his name to Lister Park and Roundhay Park Leeds was opened 2 years later in 1872. After ‘The Great War’ the massed displays of flowers were progressively replaced by ‘cleansweep planting’ creating great swards of grass.  The trend away from horticulture began and the Parks movement came to represent less what was happening within society as funding became a competative sport. Nevertheless in 1926 (Joseph Bentley local Publishing)  visitor numbers to Peel park included 214,000 playing bowls, 28,000 boating and 100,046 visiting the conservatories.

Parks near you in the 21st Century

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Zetland – Lifeboat Race

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Redcar Lifeboat

The Zetland is the ‘ Oldest Lifeboat in the World’ built in 1802 and still on display in Redcar. over 200 years ago Zetland was built by a Yorkshireman, Henry Greathead, from Richmond who set up as a boat builder and made the first lifeboat Original. The 11th lifeboat operated by the Teesbay Lifeboat and Shipwreck Society, she was christened Zetland in honour of the Lord of the Manor from Shetland. The Zetland remained in service until 1880 saving over 500 lives. In 1864 the RNLI took over the when a new boat Crossley was launched at Redcar. Zetland was hauled to the beach and ordered destroyed. However the townfolk so strongly resented this and it was hurriedly arranged that Redcar could keep the boat as long as she did not compete with the Crossley. For many years the work continued culminating in the rescue of the brig LUNA in 1880 when three lifeboats were required for the rescue.

Bibliography & References
Robinson, Vera, The Zetland Lifeboat Sullivan, Dick, 1978, Old Ships, Boats and Maritime Museums, pp. 18, Coracle Books
Phillipson, David, 1994, All her Glories Past: The Zetland Lifeboat, Smith Settle Ltd
Osler, A G, 2000, Mr Greathead’s Lifeboat: The creation of the first shore-to-ship rescue boat, Mariitme Life and Traditions, Vol. 5, pp. 16-29
Age of Sail Volume 2 by Chrysalis Books. Poem The Zetland
http://nationalhistoricships.org.uk/index.cfm/event/getVessel/vref/627

Old Hotels
Zetland Hotel was built after 1861 when the Stockton & Darlington Railway came to Saltburn. With a platform at the rear of the hotel it was one of the first railway hotels. There are many interesting pictures of Saltburn on the history web site.

Country Pursuits
‘The Zetland Hunt Country straddles the Durham / North Yorkshire border and covers about 400 square miles. Bounded by the River Wear in the North, The River Swale to the South, and Darlington to the East; the Western boundary is not defined as the land rises to the grouse moors which are not hunted.

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