Stick to Sticks

stickmen with sticks stick to the bus

I was amused by these stick men with sticks on a bus window! It was better than Morris men with sticks but not a lot!

Vintage Stick Jokes

  • I am a mystic and this is my stick. ‘Hagha’ Tommy Cooper 1957
  • What’s brown and sticky? …. A stick
  • What ticks on a wall? ….Ticky paper!
  • What do you get when you cross an elephant with a jar of peanut butter? An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
  • A duck walks into a Superdrug and asks for a tube of ChapStick.
  • The clerk asks, “Will that be cash or charge?”
  • The duck replies, “Put it on my bill!”

Try drumming up some interest. Perhaps I snared you.

Cockersdale and Keith Marsden Doin’ the Manch

Doin’ the manch is the title and first song on a re-released album of songs from Cockersdale and the pen and fertile mind of Keith Marsden. Hopefully this song is playing as a tribute to Keith who died in 1991.
The Manch is Manchester Road in Bradford which contained a record number of pubs most of which get mentioned by Keith in his humorous manner. There was also a serious side to Keiths songs about social conditions in the Yorkshire mines and mills and Cockerdale still sing many of them on the 3 CD’s and in live performances. The live show entitled ‘Picking Sooty Blackberries ‘ is pure Keith but Cockersdale performed ‘Lest we Forget’ the songs of Rudyard Kipling and Peter Bellamy at the Whitby Festival 2008.
Cockersdale Top Ten

Bring Us a Barrel
Follow me Home
Hills of Mullaghbawn
Lost at 21
Three Cheers for Booze
Will Ye Go Te Flanders?
Cholera Camp
Raglan Road
St Aubin sur Mer
Left, Left, Right, Steady
Morley Main =
Home Lads Home

I originally penned this comment in 2009 and went on to watch the reformed Cockersdale at Whitby. The music pathos and humour are still as evocative as the early days with Keith and Cockerdale. Been Around For Years one of 4 LP’s is still available from Fellside

Wilfred Pickles Have a Go

Book Cover

You can get snippets of Wilfred Pickles as an actor on youtube or watch a full comedy series with Jimmy Jewel from Barnsley on this boxed DVD of More Northern Comedy.

According to wikipedia Wilfred Pickles was a proud Yorkshireman, (aren’t we all) ‘born in Halifax and having been selected by the BBC as an announcer for its North Region radio service, went on to be an occasional newsreader on the National service during World War II. He was the first newsreader to speak in a regional accent rather than the “BBC English” of the period, and caused some comment with his farewell catchphrase “… and to all in the North, good neet”.’

One of his books ‘The Wifred Pickles Gay Street Book’ with Enid Blyton and the Biggles author Captain W.E. Johns, et al. wouldn’t pass the politically correct brigade in current publishing. In the early post war years Wilfred Pickles was as close to a modern day Celebrity as you could get. Wireless was a great medium for developing catch phrases and Wilfred had his fair share including “Give him the money, Mabel”, “How do, How are yer?”, “Give ’em the money, Barney!” (Barney Colehan) and “Are yer courting?”

The title song to his radio show ‘Have a Go’ will be remembered by the many who attended or listened to the show over it’s 21 years. They never visited the same place twice and had over 1500 outstanding invitations to visit when the show finished.

      “Have a go, Joe, come on and have a go
      You can’t lose owt, it costs you nowt
      To make yourself some dough.
      So hurry up and join us, don’t be shy
      and don’t be slow.
      Come on Joe, have a go!”

Theme and words by Jack Jordan

Mabel, Wilfred’s wife took over ‘at the table’ and Violet Carson (Ena Sharples of Coronation Street) played the piano. The original prize money was 1 pound 18/6, awarded in increments of 2/6, 5/-, 10/- and 1 guinea.

The autobiography of Mabel Pickles by Mabel Myerscough Pickles is still available in some book shops.

Vexillologist’s Flag Flying over Yorkshire

Vexillology, meaning the study of flags, is intriguing and challenging, I am told by Associated Content. ‘Whether you focus on flags of nations, states, counties, cities, corporations or service groups, you need to be familiar with the basic vocabulary of vexillology. Staff is the correct term for the flag pole.’ Vexillologists cringe when they hear people say a flag is at “half mast” when honoring the deceased. The correct term is “half staff.” Unless the flag is flying from a ship’s mast. That is the only situation when “half mast” is accurate’.

Fascinating Facts about Flags

Flags are normally flown from 8am to sunset but if they are flown at night they should be illuminated.
No permission is needed to fly the national flags and they are excluded from most planning and advertising regulations (but flagpoles may not be).
It is improper to fly the Union Flag upside down.The part of the flag nearest the flagpole should have the wider diagonal white stripe above the red diagonal stripe.
Breaking the flag is a British tradition for flag raising. Hoist the flag while rolled up and secured with a thin piece of cotton or a slip knot. A sharp tug of the halyard then breaks the cotton and release the flag to fly free.


East Riding Flag

New Picture

Continue reading Vexillologist’s Flag Flying over Yorkshire

Curry on Bradford

World Curry Festival

Bradford (and their small neighbor Leeds hosted the World Curry festival 2016. Local Bradford lad Zulfi Karim said  ‘The World Curry Festival is a long-held dream for me in which I saw a true celebration of one of Britain’s and the world’s best-loved dishes. But it’s not just about food it’s about a coming together of cultures, too. I’ve traveled the world tasting hundreds of dishes … all the ingredients used to make these delightful curries are found in our supermarkets, it’s just that people don’t know how to use them. And that’s what the festival is about, teaching people how to cook curry.’


Do you remember those old films with Barbara Windsor, Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims and the cast of Carry on ……. Well now we have a sequel to ‘Curry on up the Khyber’ called Curry on Bradford.


Funny Old Curry on Bradford

  • Westfield and the Bradford council need a extra hot vindaloo to get them going!
  • Old curry number one hits Livin’ Dhal – Cliff Richard, Tikka Chance On Me – Abba and You Can’t Curry Love – Diana Ross and the Supremes. Blowing in the Wind was disqualified
  • Chicken Tarka Masala is meant to be like Tikka but this is a little ‘otter.
  • I hope readers who have got this far are not disappointed by the title Curry on Bradford. This is Yorkshire you know and you aren’t going to get a curry on anyone, you will have to pay for it thissen.
  • Curry on Bradford’s school meal menus can be wiped off with a wet cloth if you can find a school posh enough to have a menu.
  • Food on Jet2 flights out of Leeds Bradford airport are a bit plane.

Curry Capital of Great Britain 2011

  • To win the title ‘Curry Capital of Great Britain’, Bradford had a spicy fight against contenders such as Leicester, Glasgow, Birmingham and Manchester.
  • The restaurants for curry on Bradford were Prashad, Aagrah Shipley, Kipling’s and Shimla Spice in Keighley. (Curry on Keighley isn’t quite as hot).
  • Curry on Bradford as you know you can win again in 2012 as you can chose from a wide range of curry houses including those listed in the Bradford Curry Guide

God Made Yorkshire and Southern Wazzocks

 Making Yorkshire God’s Own County

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

He enquired of God, ‘Where have you been?’

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, ‘What is it?’

‘It’s a planet,’ replied God, ‘and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.’

‘Balance?’ inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

‘For example North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.’

God continued pointing to the different countries.

‘This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.’

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, ‘What’s that?’


‘Ah,’ said God. That’s Yorkshire, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, great sportsmen, and many impressive cities, Minsters and Old Abbeys; it is the home of the world’s finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from Yorkshire are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.’

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, ‘What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!’

God replied very wisely, ‘Wait till you see the bunch of wazzocks I’m putting in the South !’


York Footpath or Snickelway Map

Snickelways were recently nominated as one of York’s seven man made wonders. Snickleways often lead the walker to fantastic pubs or act as short cuts to other watering holes.

Book Cover
The Complete Snickelways of York  –  Mark W Jones

If you like maps then you will like this book. If you like quirky maps and routes you will love this book. If you like York, and who dosen’t, then you may have already got this book or one of the earlier editions. Written and published like the Alfred Wainwright’s  Coast to Coast  book in hand written text with drawn and sketched routes this book gives an exceptional insight in our York, past and present.

For quirky who would have thought that Arthur Gemmell’s stile maps couldn’t be beaten for content or detail of presentation but they are? All these three cartographers Gemmill, Wainwright and Jones put the Frank Wilkinson walking series to shame from a cartographic perspective.

So what on earth is a ‘Snickelway’? In Mark Jones eyes it is a cross or hybrid between a Snicket, a Ginnel and an Alleyway with the odd Court, Yard or Throughway thrown in for good measure. What is more he takes us on walks through 50 of them all within a quarter of a mile of ‘The Shambles.’  That would be 51+ Snickelways if you count the top of the wall. A complete walk would be in excess of 3 miles plus the wall if you choose to tackle it all in one go.  My favourite review of the book says   ‘ My wife and daughter set off after breakfast with a copy of Snickelways, and I am still waiting for them to get home to make my midday meal’.    Angry York resident at teatime.

Mark Jones should be an honourary memeber of the International Cartographers Society or you yourself may wish to be a member of the Map Collectors Circle. I doubt the Roadmap Collectors Association have discovered Snickelways yet.

Look out for more humourous slogans on the snickleways of York. Opposite the Bluebell there is a T shirt shop with some great captions in the window. Try Too Beer or not two Beer’ Shakesbeer.

Yorkshire Airlines Classic


Classic county comedy.

“Taking off from Leeds International airport. Landing at Leeds International Airport after 20 minutes. – Because if it’s outside Yorkshire it’s not worth visiting!’

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A Yorkshireman stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here love, iron this!”.

Relish and a Joke

You are unlikely to find this saucy little number in your local Chippy but you might overhear these old sores being repeated. ‘I have told you a million times not to exaggerate.’

So I went down the local supermarket, I said “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, The check out girl said “Those are pickled onions”.

The fast food shop at Windscale (you may call it Sellafield now but the name hints at how old my jokes are) is called “The Fission Chips.” It is called fast food so you eat it fast or otherwise you might taste it.

I’m in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won, The prize, a year’s supply of Marmite……… one jar.
A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

Another deaf friend had an ear transplant from a pig now all he can hear is crackling.

If a White Russian ruler is called t’Tzar and his wife is t’Tarina are his children t’Tardines?

Mummy tomato went for a walk with the baby tomatoes consistently lagging behind, so she turned round and shouted ‘Ketch-up’.

Being overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

A friend was standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place an order. There was a big sign posted that read, “No notes larger than 10 Euros will be accepted.” underneath was written “Believe me, if I HAD a note larger than 10 Euros I wouldn’t be eating here.”

Active Hobbies and Costs

Yorkshire Bank are worried that we spend too much money  on our hobbies. That is a bit rich coming from a bank now owned by the Aussies.

From last years figures and statistics they came up with the following list of hobbies, annual costs and number of active participants.

Golf 1,457,347 £755
Gym (incl. exercise bikes/rowing machines) 4,722,762 £480
Tennis 874,040 £385
Badminton 900,332 £365
Cycling (mod intensity 30 + mins) 3,175,650 £330
Swimming 5,625,539 £176
Fishing 281,083 £148
Football 2,910,684 £88.95
Running 1,872,819 £70
Walking (mod intensity 30+ mins) 8,142,693 £0
Average Cost £279.79

No mention of cricket, bowls, field sports, rugby, bouldering, table tennis, netball, fell running, sky diving or other Yorkshire based activities.
Fishing numbers seem too low and at the risk of offending many fishermen they are hardly very active. Yorkshire Bank must be thinking of the River bank.
Thank goodness shopping isn’t on the list of hobbies, I am sure it costs me most and I cut up her M&S credit card a long time ago.

‘Yorkshire Bank’s top tips for saving money for your active hobby:
1. Calculate how much your hobby is costing you every month – make sure this figure covers all your costs and use it in your household budget (but it won’t save owt)
2. Budget, budget, budget – include your hobby costs in your household budget to ensure you don’t have any nasty surprises at the end of the month. By writing down exactly what you are spending your money on, you might be able to cut down on things that are less important to you than your hobby (but it will probably save you nowt)
3. Assess the equipment you currently own – do you really need it all? Selling any surplus on the internet or trading it in for money off new kit could significantly cut your costs (or sell someone else’s equipment instead)
4. Shop around – if you hobby requires a particular venue or specific kit, make sure you have researched all the options and are sure you have the best deal before parting with your cash (play golf at the crack of dawn before the green keepers are awake).
5. Make ‘hobby’ buddies – club together with friends who share your passion and spilt the cost of everything from venue hire and membership fees to petrol and equipment. ( or better still find a rich buddy)’.

Do not forget, in competitive hobbies, it is not the winning that counts but how much you drink afterwards.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tail after you catch them.
The biggest fish ever caught in Yorkshire was 16 inches – Hmm not very big – well that was between the eyes.