A charity collector walked up the garden path of an old Yorkshire Cottage and spoke to the elderly lady owner ‘ Excuse me I am collecting on behalf of the Baliff Bridge & Berry Brow Brass Band’
‘Eh!’ she said
‘I am collecting on behalf of the Bailiff Bridge & Berry Brow Brass Band would you like to contribute?’
‘Eh speak up I’m a bit deaf’
I AM COLLECTING ON BEHALF OF THE BAILIFF BRIDGE & BERRY BROW BRASS BAND’
‘Eh I still can’t hear’
I AM COLLECTING ON BEHALF OF THE BAILIFF BRIDGE & BERRY BROW BRASS BAND’ he thunders.
‘Ah still can’t hear’
So he turns to go and she says ‘An’ close the gate behind thee’
‘You know what you can do with your flippin gate’ he chunters to himself
‘Aye and tha know what tha can do with the blinkin’ Bailiff Bridge & Berry Brow Brass Band’ she alliterates.
Up to Date
And in case you thought Gods Own County and Amazon were not up to date we have worked together to offer you a chance to buy‘Yorkshire Wit, Character, Folklore and Customs or Wit Character Folklore and Customs of the North Riding of Yorkshire’ by R. Blakeborough first edition published by Henry Frowde (1898)
Sorry it is not yet available on Kindle! We will be kindling later.
Tight with brass
Pithy with phraseology
‘Straight talking, no nonsense, friendly, hard working, dry humour’
Whippets, flat caps, integrity plus the moors, dales countryside and the east coast.
Tha can alus tell a Yorkshire man but that can’t tell im much.
Ear all, see all, say nowt;
Eyt all, sup all, pay nowt;
And if ivver tha does owt fer nowt –
Do it fer thissen.
There was a community hall full of Yorkshire women all being given a keep fit lesson.
“O.K., ladies. Hands on thighs!”
As one, every woman moved her hands and a voice at the back said “What good’s that, then? I can’t see ‘yer now!”
A man goes to the vet because his cat is poorly. The vet says “Is it a tom?” and the man says “Nay lad, ‘ah’ve got it ‘ere in t’basket!”
Huddersfield, 18 October, 12:45 A chance for members in Kirklees and Calderdale to hear about latest developments, ask about topical issues and raise any concerns. Book your place
Winging her way from Robin Hood Airport then hot footing it up the road network will be our unelected West Yorkshire president (some mistake surely ed)
The Lord-Lieutenant of West Yorkshire
Dr Ingrid M Roscoe BA, PhD, FSA
Despite being born in Rugby she was made a Deputy Lieutenant in 1994, Vice Lord-Lieutenant in 1999 and became the first lady Lord-Lieutenant in the north of England in 2004. She was High Steward of Selby Abbey from 2000 to 2008. She is a trustee of York Minster and of the Yorkshire Sculpture Park.
President of the Royal British Legion in West Yorkshire
President of Calderdale Community Foundation
President of the Leeds Philharmonic Society
President, West Yorkshire Scouts
Not The West Yorkshire President referred to above.
Have I stumbled on the last Yorkshire born Treacle Miner? Is he an off cumden and a treacle johnny come lately? You will have to judge for yourself by reading more on All Things Treacle. At least he has contributed the Pudsey treacle mine history that starts;
‘Pudsey Treacle goes back into time immemorial; back into the distant ages when the earth had just evolved from the swirling mists of archaic originations, aye before Genesis…..’
‘Cistercian monks at the nearby Kirkstall Abbey believed that there was a tributary of treacle from the main source at Pudsey running through the abbey’ and those monks stuck to their guns as was their habit.
More Treacle Mine History
Most treacle mines date back to the 17th century according to an entry in an old leather account book
In the summer of 1939 clouds were gathering over Europe but the people of Wymsey were preoccupied with a more parochial looming disaster – the closure of the Wymsey Treacle Mine. Treacle had been mined in Wymsey long before the Romans occupied Watchester (Cystcentum) in AD66.
In 2010 times are hard for the Treacle People. The once great treacle mines of Pudsey Yorkshire are running dry and the treacle industry is in trouble. TV documentary on Channel 4
Fiction is Stranger Than Truth
Due to dangerous working conditions Treacle Miners formed the National Union of Treaclers or Nuts for health and safety reasons. The first successful result was to insist on the wearing of wigs to protect heads. These were obviously called Syrups.
Moles in America eat lots of laxative sugar cane. After feasting they leave behind a terrible stench and that is what is called Moleasses.
Treacle Spongebob Squarepants is a real TV personality from Pudsey whilst his erstwhile cousin Spongebob Squarepants is a fictional character. (Sorry to disappoint you fans of the latter)